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ladyofthesugarcult
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Name: still trying
State: venus
Birthday: 10/13/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: coin operated boy
sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
but i turn him on and he comes to life automatic joy that is why i want a coin operated boy
made of plastic and elastic
he is rugged and long-lasting
who could ever ever ask for more
love without complications galore
many shapes and weights to choose from
i will never leave my bedroom
i will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend...
coin operated boy
all the other real ones that i destroy
cannot hold a candle to my new boy and i'll
never let him go and i'll never be alone
not with my coin operated boy...
this bridge was written to make you feel smittener with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer can you extract me from my plastic fantasy i didnt think so but im still convinceable
will you persist even after i bet you
a billion dollars that i'll never love you
will you persist even after i kiss you
goodbye for the last time
will you keep on trying to prove it?
i'm dying to lose it.
Expertise: biting keeps your words at bay tending to the sores that stay happiness is just a gash away
when i open a familiar scar pain goes shooting like a star comfort hasn't failed to follow so far... and you might say it's self-indulgent
you might say its self-destructive but, you see, it's more productive than if i were to be healthy
& pens and penknives take the blame crane my neck & scratch my name but the ugly marks
are worth the momentary gain... when i jab a sharpened object in choirs of angels seem to sing hymns of hate in memorandum and you might say it's self-indulgent and you might say it's self-destructive but, you see, it's more productive than if i were to be happy and sappy songs about sex and cheating bland accounts of two lovers meeting make me want to give mankind a beating and you might say it's self-destructive but, you see, i'd kick the bucket
sixty times before i'd kick the habit
Occupation: Retired
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  champaingeaddict
AIM:  nightmistress63
Member Since:
2/25/2004
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| im going home in the morning. i guess im excited, i want to see my kt baby, and next week i can see sara, but i really miss trevy, and want to see him, and kiss him, and just, be with him. it sounds weird, cos like, i dont no why i want to, there is little to no reason in the world that i shold love him, but, i do! and i hope even after the letter i sent him, he will still love me too. ok, i need to go pack, yall can call me on fri or sat i guess. ill be home at like, 9 tomarrow. its going to be weird. | | |
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x. name = Alexandra
x. birthday = oct 13th (1989)
x. piercings = 2 right lobe, 3 right cart, 4 left lobe, 1 inner upper left cart, lip, belly button (but I sorta took it out)
x. tattoos = a small home done one on my upper outer thigh
x. height = 5’5”
x. shoe size= 9/ 9.5
x. hair color = light brown
x. length = medium/long
LAST....
x. movie you rented = I rented help, yellow submarine, the beatles 1st u.s. visit documentary, and 16 candles the other night. I already had hard days night and another doc. On the beatles, and I felt it nessicary to have a beatles fest!
x. movie you bought = wow, I don’t know, probably bill and ted, and that was over December vacation. (O_o)
x. song you listened to = Caress me down
x. song that was stuck in your head = caress me down (hence why I lisntend to it, so it would get out of my head…)
x. song you've downloaded = ermmmm, probably something by the secret machines
x. person you've called = ellie, I think
x. person that's called you = my ex gf jen…. Ya, she wanted me to go hang with her and tanisha….
OTHER...
x. you wish you could live somewhere else = depends on the day
x. you think about suicide =hmmmm, lets think, suidal, no I don’t think I ever think about it…….. (rolls eyes and looks at scars)
x. you believe in online dating = **sigh** yes…
x. others find you attractive = they claim to, I claim its bull
x. you want more piercings = yup!
x. you want more tattoos = duh!
x. you drink = im finally trying to stop! Yes, that’s right, I may even join the aa. (nah, keeps drinking)
x. you do drugs = depends whose asking (takes another hit)
x. you like cleaning = sometimes
x. you like roller coasters =they have their time
x. you write in cursive or print = Print
x. you carry a donor card = nope
x. long distance relationships = had them before
x. using someone = no
x. killing people = I still am decideing my point of view on that one
x. teenage smoking = I only do it under certain cercomstances, it has its moments
x. doing drugs = I wish my views were diff.
x. premarital sex = um, well, im not a virgin, and im far from marraige
x. driving drunk = scares me, but if Im drunk too, I don’t notice
x. gay/lesbian relationships = im BI and proud, I have several same sex oriented friends, im very into the gay communtiy
x. soap operas = lol, if u want, but ill laugh at u
favorite...
x. food = baby food!
x. song = blackbird
x. thing to do = make out
x. thing to talk about = what ever comes to mind
x. sports = haha, me sports? *rolls eyes*
x. drinks = sex on the beach (o did u mean non alcoholic? Errmmmmm, fuck that, sex on the beach)
x. clothes = my green and black skirt
x. movies = anarchist cookbook
x. band (s) = beatles, sublime, Dresden dolls, catch 22, erm… is that enough?
x. holiday = halloween
x. cars = I prefer motorcycles
x. ever cried over a girl or guy = yes
x. ever lied to someone = No (lying)
x. ever been in a fist fight = not a real one, but like, playing around yes
x. ever been arrested = no……………. (hides personal record)
x. shampoo do you use = I don’t know how to pronounce it, kt does tho, ask her what the stuff in the green bottle is called
x. perfume do you use = strawberrys and champainge (victories secret)
x. shoes do you wear = converse
x. are you scared of = spiders!
NUMBER
x. of times I have had my heart broken? = twice
x. of hearts I have broken? = how should I no?
x. of times I have been in love = im not really sure anymore
x. of boys I have kissed? = gah! U serious? Im supposed to remember?! O god, like, 15?
x. of girls I have kissed? = if I don’t know boys u think I no girls?! Well, more then boys, I no that!
x. of continents I have lived in? = 1
x. of people I consider my enemies? = hmmmmmmmm, a gagillion
x. of cd's that I own?= that I listen to? Or just own?
x. of scars on my body? = *tears* I have 51 on on my arms alone.
x. of things in my past that I regret? = gah! I don’t know where to begin counting
HAVE YOU EVER? ...
x.fallen for your best friend? = mhm
x.made out with JUST a friend? = yup!
x.been in love? = yes
x.been in lust? = mhm
x.used someone? = not on purpose
x.been used? = probably
x.cheated on someone? = need I remind the world of my escapades with sex
x.been cheated on? = no
x.been kissed? = hehe, u stupid people, learn to remember what uve already coverd
x.been abused = yes
x.been molested = sorta
x.had sex = god! Need I tell the world again?! Im not a fucking virgin, get over it!
x.done something you regret? = severl things
x.skinny dipped = all the time
x.drink so much you puked? = all the time
x.get high = used to
x.eat duck = I guess
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU...
x.you touched = myself (hehe)
x.you talked to = my dad
x.you hugged = emily
x.you instant messaged = geoa (evans gf)
x.you kissed = like, how so?
x.you had sex with = jos
x.you yelled at = daddy
x.you laughed with = with or at?
x.that yelled at you? = the police
DO YOU...
x.color your hair? = I died it purple
x.have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? = yep!
x.own a webcam? = no
x.ever get off the damn computer? = yea
x.sprechen sie deutsche? = taking it with sara this year!
x.habla espanol? = used to
HAVE YOU/ DO YOU
x.considered a life of crime? = not any more
x.considered being a hooker? = consider?! I am one. hehe
x.considered being a pimp? = no no no, that’s jakes job
ARE YOU..
x.psycho? = mhm
x.schizophrenic? shut up
x.obsessive? =hahaha, ur asking me that?!
x.panic? = going on meds for it
x.anxiety? = also going on meds for
x.depressed? = sever
x.suicidal? = very much so
x.obsessed with hate? = not really, I prefer love
x.can you do anything freakish with your body? = um, I don’t know, what do u consider freakish?
CURRENT
x.mood = annoyed
x.music = date rape (sublime)
x.taste = ice cream
x.hair = a sloppy pony
x.dress = jeans and a sweatshirt
x.smell = soap
x.longing = to cry
x.thing I ought to be doing = crying
x.windows open = erm, dunno
x.desktop picture = im on my dads comp so it’s the picture of me when I was like, 3
x.cds in stereo= a mix of sublime
x.comp = dell?
x.hate = the world
LAST...
x.thing you ate = cold stones ice cream
x.thing you drank = diet coke
x.thing you said = leave me alone
x.thing you screamed = leave me alone
x.thing you tripped over = I don’t no
x.thing you laughed about = beatles
x.thing you whined about = my life
x.time you cried = a few hours ago
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| its happend, they have crossed the line! the law is put there to protect underage people from getting hurt from sex too young, but guess what. because of fucking fucking someone over 18, my choice!!!!! (sorta) what was already not special enough is being fricken investigated by four thousand people! all yelling at me saying it should have been special?! well gues what, u all are fucking messed in the head. every single one of u "investigators" big fucking woot if someone orgasimed. or what ever the hell. what so big a diff between gettting fingerd in a movie theather (by someone underage) and getting fingered at someones house who just happend to be born a few years before u?! altho more happend with the latter, FUCK THIS! i just want to die. is that what these laws are put in place for?! hmmmm? tell me mr.police man. is it your job to make a big bad deal out of something thats not? all because of the year someone was born?! fuck, i admit it! im a slut, i lost my virginity befoer i was 15, big god damned whop. i already regreted it, then u make a bigger deal. u make me sick. i will never ever come to u fucking cops ever. and i am never telling my father another god damned thing, because he cant keep his god damned mouth shut! he calls the cops on lili, and just cos she happend to be there at the time of the "intercourse" he has to tell the cops!? keith, u ruined my life. thanks alot. good bye.
i swear tho, if (shall remain nameless but if ur fallowing this u no whose name goes here) so much as even has to go to trial, im going to take a gun and shoot myself, ill go stand right in the middle of the court room, and shoot myself in the brain, or heart, which ever will kill me faster. good day- | | |
| u ever get the feeling that the world is ignoring you. but like, only for a little while.... its weird, i no people have lives and all, but they all tell me we can talk later, then we do, then i get bored again and think they are trying to ignore me, then i write stupid things like this, and it goes into a weird circle that no one understands. anyways, the reason im currently writting is cos no one is fricken online, i understand that its getting sorta late and its saterday, but still, if your my friend, i cant imagine u have too much of a life (no offense), o, and the one person who i actully need to talk to (the one that may help me stay saine... jos) claims to be on, but once again, isnt. grgggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfffffff.
i had a scary realization today. one of my new fave bands, sublime, i was turned onto by heather, however i had thought that id heard of them some where before, i talked to sara today and she reminded me where id herd of them.... LONNY, which really kind makes it a little harder for me to enjoy. but what ev. *sigh* u no, i really wouldnt mind it if i didnt hate him. i feel compelled to hate him because he hates me and said some pretty fucked up stuff to people who told more people and so on and so fourth. wow, i must be really bord if im bableing about THIS again.
why the fuck does trevor have to be gone at camp so long!!!!! i miss his voice, and i miss him, and i love him, and ya. ok! o joy, and NOW the other trevor (texas) decides to sign on, fabu timing cowboy. i think im just depressing myself more, so im gonna stop writting now. outi~ | | |
| those that are true about me are bolded
01. when i was younger, i made some bad decisions
02. i don't watch much tv these days
03. i love broccoli
04. i love sleeping
05. i have loads of books
06. i once slept on a toilet (not my proudest moment
07. i love playing video games
08. i adore marijuana (well, adore is a little strong, but I enjoy it a lot)
09. i watch porn movies
10. i watch "one tree hill"
11. i like sharks
12. i love spiders
13. i was born without hair and i still have no hair
14. i like george w. bush
15. people are cool
16. i have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. i have a toyota and a pool.
18. i have a lot to learn
19. i carry my knife everywhere with myself
20. i'm really, really smart
21. i've never broken someone's bones
22. i have a secret
23. i hate rain
24. i drink health juice
25. rock rules
26. i hate bill gates
27. i love vietnamese food
28. i would hate to be famous
29. i am not a morning person
30. i have semi-long hair
31. i have short hair
32. i have potential (well, at least that’s what the cops said)
33. i'm pure afghan
34. my legs are two different sizes
35. i have a twin
36. i wear those long socks (thigh and knee highs!!!! The rule my world)
37. i can roll my tongue.
38. i like the way that i look (sometimes)
39. i'm obsessed with italian food
40. i know how to french braid
41. i can be pessimistic or optimistic whenever i want
42. i have a lot of mood swings
43. i skateboard/snowboard
44. i think that skateboarders are hot
45. i'm in a band
46. i have talent (again, this is wat I am told)
47. i'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have
48. i think that i'm popular
49. i am currently single
50. i can swim (not that great at it, but I can)
51. my favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
52. i practically live on the computer
53. i love to shop
54. i would classify myself as either punk or goth (people try to classify me as that, I don’t classify myself)
55. i would classify myself as ghetto
56. i'm a prep, shop at abercrombie/american eagle, and admit it.
57. i'm obsessed with my online journal. (although im sorta taking a break from it)
58. i don't hate anyone
59. i know how to square dance
60. i have a unibrow
61. i'm completely embarassed to be seen with my mom
62. i have a cell phone
63. i believe in God.
64. i watch mtv on a daily basis.
65. i know how to play the tuba
66. i need coffee to live.
67. i have had a boyfriend before
68. i've rejected someone before
69. i currently like someone and they have no idea that i like them
70. i have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life
71. i want to have kids when i get older
72. i have changed a diaper before
73. i've called the cops on a friend before (sorta, but its whats happening in my life right now…..)
74. i bite my nails
75. i am a member of the hilary duff fan club
76. i'm not allergic to anything
77. i love broadway plays, and have been to at least 3
78. i have no idea who the 38th president was.
79. i plan on seeing mary kate and ashley's new movie
80. i am completely shy around the opposite sex
81. i'm online 24/7
82. i have at least 25 away messages saved
83. i have tried alcohol or drugs at a party (amoung other places, some people call me a future aa member when im drunk)
84. i loved rush hour
85. i've read all of the harry potter books
86. if i were a dwarf, i would be dopey
87. when i was a kid i played with g.i. joe
88. i dont mind country music
89. i would die for my friends
90. i think that juicy fruit is the best type of gum
91. i watch soap operas whenever i can
92. i'm paranoid
93. i would love to be demi moore because ashton kutchers a major hottie
94. i love the beatles.. (need I even begin to say this)
95. i know all the words to 'i'm a barbie girl' (haha, sara was right!)
96. halloween is awesome because you get free candy (and it’s a big holyday for me)
97. i watch spongebob squarepants and i like it.
98. i like watching movies
99. i want this thing to be over!
100. i am happy | | |
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